emotional RV weekend

Last weekend we took the RV to Groemitz, which is a 2,5 hour drive from home. My husbands sister and her husband as well as my brother and spouse joined us. This is why we moved back to Germany – being able to spontanously spend time with family.

Am vergangenen Wochenende sind wir mit dem Wohnmobil nach Groemitz gefahren. Das ist so in etwa 2,5 Stunden Fahrtzeit von uns entfernt. Die Schwester meines Mannes samt Mann, sowie mein Bruder und seine Lebensgefaehrtin haben sich eingeklinkt. Das ist genau das, warum wir zurueck nach Deutschland gezogen sind – um Zeit mit der Familie verbringen zu koennen.

We were lucky, it barely rained and therefore we were able to take walks on the beach, ride the bikes into town and just sit in front of the RV’s to chitchat. We got take-out the first evening and made a reservation in a nearby restaurant for the next.

Wir hatten Glueck denn es hat nur selten ein wenig genieselt und war ansonsten trocken. So konnten wir am Strand spazierengehen, mit den Raedern in die Stadt fahren und auch vor den Wobis sitzen. Am ersten Abend haben wir uns was zu essen geholt, fuer den zweiten reservierten wir einen Tisch in einem naehegelegenen Restaurant.

While it was an amazing weekend something unexpected happened on Saturday morning. I went for a run on the beach, it was pretty windy and cold but on the same time quite and peaceful. What happened then came out of nowhere. Bam – while I was jogging and actually thinking I’d enjoy it (as much as one can enjoy jogging) I started bawling. A deep sadness took over and the feeling of being homesick was so intense.

Es war ein super Wochenende und trotzdem passierte etwas total unerwartetes am Samstag morgen. Ich bin am Strand joggen gegangen. Es war super windig und kalt doch gleichzeitig war es auch ganz ruhig und friedlich. Und was dann geschah, kam aus dem Nichts. Bam – waehrend ich das so am Strand laufe und noch denke, das ich das richtig ein wenig geniesse (jedenfalls so viel, wie man eben joggen geniessen kann) laufen mir mit einem mal Sturzbaeche von Traenen aus den Augen. Eine tiefe Traurigkeit hat mich ueberrannt und ich fuehlt ploetzlich so starkes Heimweh.

I had promised to keep it real and therefore I took a video right then and there, to document that emotions are nothing we really have control over. Yes, you can try to hide them but they are there and they can come out of the blue, totally unforeseeable.

Ich hatte versprochen, hier und auch mir gegenuber alles ehrlich zu benennen und deshalb nahm ich dort am Strand ein Video auf. Ich wollte meine Gefuehle dekomentieren, ueber die ich so gar keine Kontrolle hatte. Klar kann man Gefuehle versuchen zu verstecken, aber sie sind da und sie koennen einen ganz unerwartet ueberkommen. Einfach aus dem Nichts.

I was positive surprised how many people reached out after me posting my ugly crying face to social media. I felt very blessed that most people undertstood and the others kept their thoughts to themselves. However, I also felt the need a little later to post another video to clarify that this all was my/our very own decission. But that’s not the point. I’m totally aware that one can controll their own happiness (til a certain degree). The point is, emoitions come and go and all you can do is embrace them.

Ich war positive ueberrascht, wieviele Leute mich kontaktierten, nachdem ich das Video gepostet hatte. Alle waren so verstaendnisvoll und die anderen haben es gluecklicherweise fuer sich behalten. Etwas spaeter hatte ich dann noch das Gefuehl, ich muesste ein weiteres Video posten, in dem ich klarstelle, das wir alle unseres eigenen Glueckes Schmied sind, und der Rueckzug meine/unsere eigene Entscheidung war. Doch das war auch nicht der Punkt. Der Punkt ist, das Emotionen kommen und gehen und man sie eigentlich nur annehmen kann.

It took me a little while to shake it off but I was still able to soak up the quality time with family, which I enjoyed more than I can say. Here are some pictures as well as the videos from this last weekend.

Es hat ein bisschen gedauert, bis ich die Traurigkeit wieder abschuetteln konnte, aber trotzallem habe ich die Zeit mit der Familie mehr genossen, als ich es in Worte fassen kann. Hier sind ein paar Fotos sowie die besagten Videos.

Categories: Uncategorized | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “emotional RV weekend

  1. Amy Dow

    You are one of the bravest people I know. Adore you my friend. Hope you have booked your California trip. I will find a way to see you if you get this close.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    • I miss you so much and I can’t wait to (hopefully) see you in December.
      However, it means already so much that you are always just a facetime call away. Love you forever!

  2. ich denke, das ist ganz normal wie Du Dich fuehlst und somit kein Grund sich dafuer zu entschuldigen. Ihr wart lange an einem anderen Ort mit Freunden, Beruf, einer bestimmten Landschaft etc. Es werden immer 2 Herzen in der Brust somit schlagen, mit guten und schlechten Momenten. Und Ihr seid ja auch dabei, in der “neuen” alten Heimat schoene Erinnerungen zu schaffen. Alles Gute weiterhin :-).

    • Danke Dir. Wir machen uns das Leben auch hier schoen, das steht fest. Auch Deutschland/Europa hat soviel schoenes, aufregendes zu bieten. Und das die Familie vor Ort ist, ist nicht zu ueberbieten.
      LG

  3. Thanks for keeping it real. People must see these kind of rollercoaster emotions to understand that having your heart in two places is not easy. You’ll always “grieve” for the other “home”, no matter what.

    Many hugs! ❤

  4. Elle

    I have been a silent reader and have loved your blog for many years now. Forty years ago I came to the US and have occasionally been very homesick, always torn between Germany and the US. My husband and I were thinking of retiring to Germany in about 5 years, but he passed away a few months ago. Now its just me here and I have spend so many hours each day thinking about what to do once
    my lease ends next year. I think I love the life here in the US too much to be able to make the move back. Things probably don’t measure up to the memories there, family dynamics change after decades of being here. I have a few months time and will probably spend several weeks for holidays in Germany, but I am not sure what to do as of yet. You are helping so many people I would imagine with your honesty and sharing your feelings. I know it helps me knowing that these torn feelings between
    two countries and two cultures are not mine alone. I think that I would miss the US terribly if I was
    over there, probably more so than I miss Germany from here. But really not sure what to do next year.
    Thank you for your honesty and sharing the roller coaster moments with us. Love from Tx. , Elle

    • Hi Elle, thank you for your sweet comment.
      First of all – I’m very sorry for your loss! I can’t even imagine how you must feel.
      Forty years is a long time….. If there is anything I can help to make your decision easier, please let me know.
      One of the things which played into our decision was the question “could we afford to retire in the OC?” California is so expensive. Even though we made a really good living, we didn’t want to become baggers at a grocery store just to be able to pay mortgage or rent.
      However, you have been living in the US for way longer and might be able to live a good retirement life (one day) where you at.
      I love that I can see my family and old friends now way more often and the move has definitely helped rebuilding friendships and connections.
      As we know, your (my) heart will always be in two places…..
      I don’t think I’ve ever felt homesick before…. Moving to the US was just one big adventure. Of course I missed certain people/things but I never felt this feeling towards Germany. However, living in Germany has many perks that I would never get in the US…….
      Please take care and keep me posted.
      Tanja

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